Sunday, July 12, 2015

A letter to my teacher and former slave master, lust.

                  This post is somewhat personal but quite appropriate considering the list of readers.
   Dear Lust,
      In this letter I am informing you that our bonds are mostly severed and will soon be entirely dissolved, very soon. You have been my consistent companion for many years, but I have found you out. I have discovered your true identity.
       You are founded on a web of lies, the primary one being that I do not have ultimate control of my feelings and thus I must turn to something outside myself for occasional relief from reality. You have kept me in bondage for quite some time. You had me believe that not only could I not feel consistent satisfaction with loved ones, but that the only way to feel deeply was to engage in behaviors that sabotaged these relationships. "Nothing personal" was the script you taught me, "but this is the only way I could feel anything". You even taught me that people close to me, specifically my wife needed to understand and respect that.
         She was always the main focus of your attacks because she represented my deepest connection. But she actually is a real person. She never did understand or respect or even try to understand that mentality. You told me that because of her "belligerence, opposition, and disregard" for my needs that I had two choices.
     1) Harbor secrets that if only she was more understanding that I wouldn't have to keep from her.
     2) Kill my desire to feel anything. Resign myself to my fate of never getting to have what I want.

I chose number 2 almost every time I was faced with that choice. The fact that number 1 is a more serious issue was an excellent mask for you to continue to enslave me. You told me that I had a choice between bad and a WHOLE LOT WORSE. So I chose bad; I chose heartache; I chose lack and poverty. Over and over and over again I made that choice.
       I have gained much wisdom and continue to gain more; When this impoverished emotional state resurfaces, as it does on a fairly regular basis I now remind myself that to truly fuel lust, I must conclude that that emotional state is pervasive and enduring.
        Instead I assert that feeling emotionally impoverished is fleeting and diminishing while freedom, life, vitality, joy, peace are becoming my default emotions.
     Now where do I get the audacity to make such an assertion?
Alma 5: 10 asks that same question with slightly different wording.
10 And now I ask of you on what conditions are they saved? Yea, what grounds had they to hope for salvation? What is the cause of their being loosed from the bands of death, yea, and also the chains of hell?

Versus 7-10 give the full picture. It is because I choose to believe that I have the power to fundamentally alter my emotional disposition and because I humble myself before God and give him, voluntarily, my trust. I seek out others who are of my same heart in this regard and learn from them.

So, Lust:
I am free now. Farewell.

      

Monday, April 6, 2015

Conference Resolution

This is my new resolution, which I solidified and clarified while watching General Conference.
Feel my feelings.
These two verses I apply to my feelings:
Matthew 19:14
14 But T.H.E. said, aSuffer my inner child (which is mostly feelings), and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

2 Nephi 26: 33
33 I ainvite them ball to ccome unto me and partake of my goodness; and I ddeny none that come unto me, energizing and drab, intense and mild, encouraging and disturbing; and I remember the fheathen; and all are alike unto me, because they are MY FEELINGS.

I AM REAL.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Perceptions

Melissa Armstrong​ and I had a discussion last night that was very eye opening. We discussed how much our perception of each other has been skewed the entire time we have known each other. Melissa stated that she has seen how happy I have been recently and that has made her realize that I have been mostly unhappy the whole time she has known me. I confirmed that I have been mostly unhappy and responded that I projected that unhappiness on to her.
What I am now coming to understand are invitations to create and maintain a happy family and home life I previously perceived to be willful, deliberate attempts to insult my intelligence and to erode my self-worth.
I'm not sure why I was inspired to share that here.

Anyway, my conclusion from this discussion is that there is an infinite depth of connection that is possible between husband and wife, and we are stepping into a whole new world of connection, gratification, and understanding that will bring an intense richness of joy that I never realized was possible in this life!

This clearer understanding confirms to me what Napoleon Hill said, "The only limitations we have are the ones we place on ourselves." I am on a journey of stepping beyond the limitations I have come to identify with and even name "I". I am redefining the word I into brilliant security, majestic power, undaunted courage, infinite wisdom, boundless charity!

Yes, yes my hope for a gloriously intimate, satisfying, nourishing, enlightening, passionate, elevating marriage is VERY VERY bright! Kindness begins with me.