A letter to my new, life-long (most likely) companion, medication.

     I feel impressed to write to my thoughts and feelings regarding taking medication for the rest of my mortal journey. (If you are already fairly familiar with my process to get on my current medication, I suggest you jump to the main message I am currently taking Buproprion and Setraline (generic equivalents of Welbutrin and Zoloft).
    There was a period of time where I felt determined that my mental illness symptoms were to be resolved exclusively by self-development (i.e. understanding and transforming my internal environment through the help of Jesus Christ). I was very relieved and grateful back in 2005 when I told my doctor that I was ready to discontinue medication.
     I had been taking Welbutrin and Adderall for several months after returning home early from my mission because of severe depression. The Adderall helped me to maintain my focus, which I had assigned an absolute dire importance to and had viciously berated myself every time my focus wandered. So, off I went for 11 years.

For those 11 years, I progressed very much, and I coped quite well, including meeting and marrying my delightful wife Melissa . Coping and breakthroughs and epiphanies and divine mercies, including occasional suggestions from Melissa that I look into medical treatment for depressive symptoms.

So now, 6 or so months later, I have obtained a state of being where my main feelings are enthusiasm, gratitude, peace with the occasional wave of negative emotions, which I consistently handle very well (most always now smoothly and confidently.

So, last year, after parting ways with the postal service, we met with our family doctor about it.
He convinced me that in addition to personal development, me being in this mortal state, my body also needs help regulating its neurotransmitters.
Thus I obtained a more complete understanding of my experience, that I had been working on my Spirit, not my whole soul, because The Spirit AND the Body are the SOUL of man.

So , this brings me to the main idea of this post: medication, now we are life-long companions. Please treat me well, I am most grateful that you have come.

I did not want to admit that I might need chemical help for the remainder of my time here on earth. I relished my status of being post-medication. Now, I still keep that possibility open, but for the foreseeable future, medication is my close companion.

So, here are all my present thoughts about this and then I will declare which of them I choose to keep and to reinforce.

1. It's depressing that I'm connected to a substance in order to be free, it's like I have a very short leash of happiness and freedom, very short.
2. I'm delighted to have found a consistent component of my happiness.
3. The medication itself is a physical reminder that so many people love me and care about me and have helped guide me to this point.

So, I choose to keep number 2 and number 3. So many wondrous miracles I can participate in by consistently taking this medication! I declare that my attitude towards medication is the same as my attitude towards my orthopedic inserts that go in my shoes, or to corrective lenses, or to a razor to keep my face smooth, or to a washing machine to allow clothes to be clean, or our various methods of maintaining our bodies in a certain temperature, etc.

Yes, this blog post has been quite therapeutic and welcome medication, you are my friend.

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